


Whispers, Words, and Wounds

by FandomLife54



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Eavesdropping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Oblivious, Use Your Words, everyone ships it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25951378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomLife54/pseuds/FandomLife54
Summary: “Are you and Dad fighting again?”Buck blinks at the question, their happy hangout shifting the moment Eddie leaves the room. “Um, what? No, we’re not fighting. What made you think that?”“I overheard my dad say something on the phone last night… I got scared you were gonna go away again.”OR5 times Chris misinterprets something Eddie said about Buck + 1 time Eddie tells Buck himself
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 41
Kudos: 840





	Whispers, Words, and Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! After many months of writers block and half a dozen WIPs! :'D This is my first 5+1 fic so I hope I do justice for the trope. If you do like it, share some kudos or leave me a comment. I love feedback, even if it's brief. :)  
> Enjoy!! <3

... 1 ...

Christopher might be young but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand certain things. For example, he knows his dad works hard for him and that means long shifts, coming home late, and getting called in during major emergencies. He also understands that when his father  _ is _ home, he can be really tired and that makes him forget things sometimes. 

When Chris wakes up and his throat feels too dry to go back to sleep, he blindly reaches for his nightstand only to grasp at the empty surface. His dad must have forgotten to put his cup of water there like he usually does. That’s alright, though, he can get it himself. 

With his glasses on, the clock reads a little past midnight and he settles on leaving his crutches so he can carry his water back to his room. It’s easy enough to shuffle through the house in the dark, moonlight bright enough to guide him, but he slows as he hears his dad's voice slipping through his door. 

“I know, Maddie, but-” Eddie sighs. “I’m sorry. I know you just got off work, too.” A moment passes before he hears a soft chuckle. “Yeah, same. When Buck isn’t here snoring on the couch, it feels like the house is too quiet. Sometimes, I can’t sleep for hours.” 

Chris is too tired to try and piece together the other half of the conversation so he moves along to continue his mission. After two long sips of water, he’s carrying his cup back to his room when he hears it. 

“Yeah, but I don’t want to be his _friend.”_ Wait, what? Is he still talking about Buck? “And I can’t talk to the others about this. Seriously, please don’t tell Chim. If he tells Hen, then Hen tells Karen and they both tell Athena. Then Athena tells Bobby..... I am not spiraling! It’s true. I feel like they’re already starting to suspect. And I can’t just avoid Buck completely, because then they’ll _know_ something’s up.”

_ Avoid Buck?  _

A sudden shift of bedsheets has him drawing back, rushing back to his room with water sloshing over the side of his cup and onto his hands. He doesn’t care. He just wants to talk to Buck.

…. 

“Are you and Dad fighting again?”

Buck blinks at the question, their happy hangout shifting the moment Eddie leaves the room. “Um, what? No, we’re not fighting. What made you think that?”

“I overheard my dad say something on the phone last night… I got scared you were gonna go away again.” 

And if that doesn’t stab Buck right in his gut. With a small exhale, he glances back towards the hallway, then leans in close. “Maybe you misunderstood what he said? Why not talk to him about it after I leave?”

Chris is already shaking his head. “He said he couldn’t tell anyone.”

Is it wrong to be so tempted by this? He really shouldn’t, but… “Well, I’m always here for you to talk to. What did he say that got you so scared?” 

“He…” Tiny fingers wring together on his lap. “He said he didn’t want to be your friend. And that he wanted to avoid you but couldn’t because everyone would know something’s wrong.” 

_ … Oh. Wow _ ,  _ um _ ... 

An onslaught of emotions rolls up his throat, tears spilling down his face before he even felt them coming. It’s too late to hide them, large drops crashing onto his hands as he moves to wipe them away. That’s when he hears the quiet sniff, Chris’ fists balls against his eyes as he trembles. 

“Hey, hey, no! It’s ok. Sorry. I-… I was just surprised, that’s all.” Dammit, he can’t decide whether he should have asked at all. Maybe they should have talked when they were alone and his dad wasn’t at risk of walking in at any second.

“I don’t want you to go away, Bucky.”

_ Fuck.  _ “ _ Chris _ ...” Buck slides the boy onto his lap, curling his arms around him tight. “Don’t worry. I’m gonna figure this out for both of us, ok? This isn’t gonna be like the lawsuit. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Are you gonna tell Dad that I told you?” 

“No, I won’t. Just… No more listening in on his conversations, alright? You don’t need to be in the middle of this stuff. It’s nothing but lame adult drama. Me and you are going to be fine, and that’s what matters. Ok?”

“Ok.”

… 2 …

There’s a difference between listening in while his dad talks on the phone and being in the same room as the conversation. It’s not his fault adults are terrible at whispering. Abuela says it’s because their hearing gets worse with age. 

Chris is minding his own business, as promised, and simply drawing on the floor. The action movie playing loudly in the background doesn’t really interest him, but Buck seems happy. It was the first part of a trilogy or something and Chris catches Buck bouncing in his seat every time the music gets intense, cheering when something blows up on screen. 

“This is ridiculously unrealistic,” his dad grumbles, and Buck snorts out a laugh. “Seriously, how much do you think they spent on special effects? They went way overboard with the explosives.”

“Oh, hush already,” Carla chides, and Chris looks up to see her and Buck gawk as the camera pans to a new character. “Ooo! This guy brought his own  _ bazooka _ !” 

Their excited shouts mix with the explosion, bright orange light covering Chris’ drawings for a moment, and it makes him smile. 

“Awesome, a talking scene. I’m gonna go to the restroom.” Buck’s hand covers his dad’s for a second, just to call his attention. “Yell if they start blowing things up again.” And he’s off. 

It’s quieter after that and Chris is able to focus more on his art, but then…

“ _ I saw that. _ ” 

“ _ Carla _ ,” Eddie hisses. Chris can see him glancing over from the corner of his eye but he doesn’t stop coloring, pretending that he hasn’t heard a thing. “ _ Look, I am trying to keep my distance but it’s hard ok? Buck’s an affectionate guy. He doesn’t think twice about this stuff.” _

_ “I really think you should tell him how you feel.” _

_ “I  _ can’t.  _ It would ruin all of this.”  _ Chris doesn’t want to hear anymore. “Oh, hey, buddy. Where’re you headed?”

“I’m just getting some water.”

….

Buck is practically skipping back from the bathroom when he almost runs into Chris at the turn. “Whoops! Sorry, superman. I didn’t see-”

“He doesn’t like that you’re affectionate.” 

The monotone of his voice throws him for a second before the words sink in.  _ Oh.  _

_ Affectionate,  _ he thinks as Chris walks away. He’s too affectionate. 

Well… Now that he thinks about it, maybe he was sitting kinda close to Eddie during the movie. He should switch couches. But, then, was that the only thing…? Did he do something at work earlier? Or on yesterday’s shift? Maybe he should look at the way he texts him. He’s been trying to maintain some distance between them like he wanted but-

A flash of his hand over Eddie’s plays into his mind. 

“I’m such an idiot…”

… 3 …

“No, not that kind, Dad. This one.”

Chris watches his father’s eyes trail from the list to the label a few times, matching them word for word. “You’re right. Thanks, buddy.”

“Picky eater?” Both Diaz boys turn around to find Hen grinning at them, leaning casually against her basket. “Hi, Christopher. How have you been?”

“Good! We’re getting ingredients to make spaghetti and Buck said to get this kind.” 

“Did he?” She raises an eyebrow to Eddie. “I thought the Buckley Bunch were having a ‘siblings only’ weekend?”

“They are. Buck just left me a recipe to follow and we’re shopping for the ingredients.”

“He had to specify exactly what brand and style sauce for you to get? Let me guess, he did the same thing for the rest of your groceries, too.” The shy pout has Hen reeling. “He did! Buck said you weren’t a great cook but if he has to write out your entire shopping list? Oh, honey,” she cackles, Chris giggling under his breath. 

Eddie huffs. “It’s not like I have a choice. Buck is super particular about this stuff. If I get the wrong item, he throws a fit!”

….

“I do  _ not _ throw  _ fits _ !” Buck shoves the walls of their pillow fort into place, glaring into space. “He’s the one who hates shopping and he was always complaining that he can’t cook you a decent meal because he didn’t know what to buy. I offered to help. But a lot of items have dozens of variations to choose from. And some taste  _ terrible _ , just super artificial. So, I made a list! With specifics!”

“I’m sorry, Bucky…”

Turning to the dejected child hugging a piece of their fort to his chest, Buck can’t help but scold himself internally. “No, I’m sorry. I can be overbearing and I guess your dad was too nice to tell me. I won’t write any more lists that way you don’t have to hear about it, ok? Now, come on. It’s time to conquer Rainbow Road with Mario.”

… 4 …

Chimney’s already laughing before he even gets out a word. “B-Bobby. Oh, man. You should have seen Eddie’s face!”

Carla had an emergency to get to and his dad had 30 minutes left on his shift, so Bobby insisted she drop him off at the station. It was a relatively slow day, anyways. With Buck in the shower and Chris’ homework all done, he watches TV on the couch while the rest of the adults sit at the table talking. 

“I told you, already. Nothing happened!” 

His shoulders dip a little at the tone. Lately, it’s been associated with his dad saying mean things about Buck and Chris doesn’t want Buck feeling worse than he already does. 

“Come on, Eddie, admit it. You were jealous.”

“I wasn’t  _ jealous. _ I was annoyed. I go to secure the woman and she physically  _ pushes  _ me aside because she wanted Buck to save her! And the whole time we’re trying to exit her freaking labyrinth of a mansion, she’s talking about how the two of them should go to her beach house in  _ Malibu _ and how they can take her million dollar  _ yacht _ out on the water. Like Buck even  _ cares _ about those sorts of things!”

“Sounds like you were pretty jealous,” Bobby chuckles.

“I WASN’T- Ugh, never mind. Buck’s gonna come up soon so can we please drop it?”

….

Buck knows for certain he isn’t the one Christopher should be having this conversation with. “I… I didn’t realize your dad was ready to start dating again.” Or that that woman was Eddie’s type. He supposes she was beautiful. And rich… And Eddie deserved nice things like a beach house and a yacht after working so hard for years to provide for his family. He deserved to be treated like royalty. And Buck, on his salary, well... No. Stop. Focus on Chris. “How do you feel about it?”

“I’m fine… I thought he was dating you until he said you weren’t friends.” Yeah, Buck feels a little gutted about that himself. “Can’t you guys make up already so you can be together?”

There’s a deep sigh growing in the hollow of his chest that will probably never escape. 

“Chris, listen. Even if your dad and I become friends again, that doesn’t mean we would get together romantically. Sometimes, people just want different things. And that’s not bad. I do know that when he does find someone he wants to be with, he’s going to talk to you before he does  _ anything _ . Your dad loves you, and his happiness is tied with yours. It might be scary and a little awkward at first, but your dad would never date someone if you weren’t comfortable with it. So make sure to be honest whenever that time comes, ok?”

“But what about you?” 

How was this kid’s heart already so big? “I’ll be fine,” he mushes Chris’ cheeks together, kneading them until he smiles. “After we get ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream.”

… 5 … 

  
  


Chris loves coming to Athena and Bobby's house because it means he gets to play with Harry and Denny. He especially loves it when Buck joins in.

"AHHH," Harry screams, dangling upside-down in Buck's arms. The whole room sings with laughter and Harry could hardly contain his smile as he yells, "You better not drop me!" 

"Buck." Athena glances over from the dining room area, giving Buck a fierce look. "I hope you don't plan on getting any more blood on my floors." 

He spins Harry around immediately, holding him close until both his feet are planted safely on the floor. "No, ma'am." 

From the step of the chimney, Chris cheers Denny on as he sneaks behind Buck to attempt a tackle. As ineffective as it is, Buck makes a show of slowly crashing to the floor, letting Harry and Denny pile over him as he calls to Chris for help. 

He's halfway up when a hushed piece of the loud conversations catches his attention. 

"You're finally ready to tell him?" 

"I think so." That's his dad's voice. "But first I need to talk to Chris about it. I honestly don't know how he's gonna react or what I'd do if he wasn't ok with things changing."

"Listen to me," Athena says. "Chris loves Buck and Buck loves Chris. That won't change, no matter how either of them react." 

"I know but if things go bad, it could put a strain on their relationship. And ours... What if we can’t even be in the same room together? It’ll ruin everything. Every party, every sleepover, every  _ shift. _ " 

"You're spiraling again," Maddie soothes. "I know my brother, and so do you. Everything's gonna be ok." 

His dad takes a deep breath. "Ok. I'll talk to Chris when we get home, and if it goes well, I'll tell Buck tonight." 

_ Tonight?! _

"NO, YOU CAN'T!" 

The air itself goes still, the world completely silent except for the loud beat of his heart. 

"Uh…” Eddie circles out of the kitchen to kneel in front of him, concern etched on every corner of his being. “Mijo, what-”

“ _ We know! _ We know what you’re gonna say and I don’t want you to! This isn’t fair!” Something pained flashes in his father’s eyes and his stomach twists with guilt. “I heard what you said on the phone and what you’ve been saying for weeks. I don’t get it!  _ Why- _ ?” The words are trapped behind his closed throat and he sobs, Eddie pulling him to his chest. 

Beyond his crying, he can hear people whispering along with his father’s aborted ' _ Buck _ .'

“ _ I’m just gonna give them some space. _ ” No matter how the others try to make him stay, Buck declines and the door shut behind him with a click. 

Eddie digs his nose into his hair, chest rising and falling as the seconds pass. “I’m so sorry, Chris... I shouldn’t have tried to keep this a secret. I should have talked to you.” He hugs him a little tighter. “I knew that with everything that happened, there was a chance you weren’t ready for this. But I  _ promise _ my main priority will always be you. And if you’re not comfortable with me dating someone yet, I won’t.”

_...What is he even talking about? _

“I don’t  _ care _ who you date! I just don’t want you to hate Bucky anymore!”

And… nothing. No apologies or explanations. No promises to do better. 

Chris pulls away from his dad to see the whole house looking at him like he’s grown a second head. He’d laugh at their expressions if he weren’t so upset. 

"Hate…? I don't- Chris, I don't hate Buck." 

"But you don't want to be his friend," Chris pouted. 

"What? Of course I want to be his friend. Why would you say that?" 

"I heard you on the phone with Aunt Maddie. You said you didn't wanna be his friend and that you wanted to avoid him." 

His father seems shocked at his words for a moment before his whole body sinks, turning to Maddie in alarm. 

"Oh, no," she whispers. 

"Chris, did you tell Buck this?" He nods. Eddie lets out a harsh breath through his teeth. "Did you tell him anything else?" 

"I heard you talking to Carla and told him you don't like him touching you. Then, when you got mad at the store, I told him you don't want him making our grocery lists anymore. And then I told him that you were jealous that he got to save the rich lady and not you." 

While the rest of the adults seem to be holding back their smiles, his dad looks on the verge of a breakdown. 

"I knew he'd been acting off...  _ Dammit… _ " 

"Dad?" Bright brown eyes turn to him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I thought if I helped Buck, you could be friends again and you wouldn't send him away. But it just made both of you really sad…" 

"Oh, Christopher," he sighs, though there is a slight curve at the edge of his lips. "I'm so proud that you would go so far to help someone you love, but I really wish you would have talked to me first. Because, guess what?" 

"What?"

… +1 … 

Buck lies flat on his bed, still dressed in his clothes from earlier and having no intent to move for the next 2 days. 

The sad thing is he eventually has to go back to work. Eddie will no doubt, with his big heart of hearts, do his best to corner Buck and let him down easily. He might hate Buck, but he's pretty sure his therapy has moved Eddie away from physical violence and towards competent communication. 

Hurray. 

If he could just sleep for the next twenty hours or so, that'd be great. Of course, that's when there's a knock at the door. 

Figuring it's probably Maddie playing her role as his big sister, he opens it, ready for some comfort. Instead, his insides fall to his feet and he's a hollow shell staring at Eddie of all people. 

"Hi." Why is this his life? "Can we talk?" 

"Sure." They take their seats on the couch and maybe it's only been a few seconds but Buck wants this to be over with  _ now _ . "So, look. Nothing much has to change. I still want to hang out, have movie nights, go to the park or the museum, but it can just be me and Chris. The two of us. I won't go to your place unless you're at work-" 

"Buck." 

"-and I'll be gone before you're back. Sleepovers can be held here, exclusively." 

" _ Buck _ ." 

"You can text me his curfew or if any appointments slash emergencies come up." 

"Buck!" Two hands take a firm grip on his shoulders, halting him, and when the hell did he get up to pace? "No. To all of that. I don't want you doing any of this without me." 

That honestly felt like a punch. "You can trust me with him. I'm not gonna talk bad about you or turn him against you or say this was your fault. I swear, I-" 

"BUCK!" He snaps his mouth shut, dunking his head as he drops back onto the couch. "Fuck, sorry. Just- Just look at me. Please?" Callous fingers brush over his skin, thumbs tracing the lines of his face. "Please…" 

He does. And Eddie's smiling, that stupidly soft smile he gets when Chris does something good, or they save someone from an impossible situation, or...

"You really shouldn't do this when you're letting someone down. It sends mixed messages..."

"How are my two favorite people so ridiculous," he chuckles. The sound reverberates through Buck's chest. "I was gonna tell you this tonight, come up with a plan during whatever movie Chris wanted to watch. Then, after I put him to sleep," Buck let's Eddie tangle their fingers together, "I'd ask you to stay a little longer so we could speak." 

Even after clearing his throat, Buck can barely get his voice above a whisper. "What would we talk about?" 

"I wasn't sure, but Chris gave me some ideas back at Athena's place. Like… How I love watching you write down our shopping lists. It means you're gonna be coming over all week to show us new recipes. You get this look on your face, too, and I know you're just as excited.

"I'd tell you how incredibly humble you can be sometimes. You never told us just how much you turned down during the lawsuit. We had to find out through Bobby when he got the final paperwork and that wasn't until months after everything had gone back to normal. It... kinda fueled my jealousy when that woman kept trying to bribe you into going out with her. It was so obvious she didn't know you at all.

"And then I'd confess how much of a coward I've been about talking to you. I was putting distance between us, trying to cut back on any physical contact, because I was afraid you'd see how much it affected me. How badly I didn't want to be  _ just  _ your friend." Eddie sighs. "I want more, Buck. So what do you want?" 

What is there to even say? 

Buck drags Eddie forward, burying his nose in the crook of his neck and squeezing. He can't let go. He won't. 

"I thought you hated me again…" 

The small, exasperated laugh is contagious. "I could never hate you, Buck. I love you too much for that… And I'm sorry for keeping that a secret." 

"I forgive you. And I love you, too. I really do." 

"Chris told me you did.  _ Everyone  _ told me you did, but hearing it from you... It feels good to know for sure. And Chris was thrilled to know I’m not viciously kicking you out of my life forever." 

"Yeah? I can only imagine.  _ Oh, wait _ ." 

"Oh, ha ha. Like this isn't partially your fault too, mister I'll-deal-with-it." 

"I was dealing with it! In a super unhealthy way, sure, but I was dealing with it." 

Eddie growls. "You are not allowed to hide stuff like this ever again. Next time something's bothering one of you, you tell me." 

"No arguments there." A beat passes. "Ok, so when you say you love me, do you mean it in like the friends ways or-" 

Their lips crash together, kiss turning into teeth more than anything with both of them smiling so much. 

" _ I'm in love with you _ ." 

Buck grins from ear to ear, placing one more peck on Eddie's cheek. "Awesome. See? Already avoiding future misunderstandings." 

"Good. Now come on, Chris is waiting for us at home. You wanna watch a movie? Just the three of us?" 

_ Yes _ . "That sounds perfect." 


End file.
